


They Can Only Be Carried

by fromxthexvalley



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canon Death, Depression, M/M, Short work, no happy ending, phil is dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 12:50:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5206517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromxthexvalley/pseuds/fromxthexvalley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Let me be crystal clear: if you've faced a tragedy and someone tells you in any way, shape or form that your tragedy was meant to be, that it happened for a reason, that it will make you a better person, or that taking responsibility for it will fix it, you have every right to remove them from your life.</p><p>Grief is brutally painful. Grief does not only occur when someone dies. When relationships fall apart, you grieve. When opportunities are shattered, you grieve. When dreams die, you grieve. When illnesses wreck you, you grieve.</p><p>So I’m going to repeat a few words I’ve uttered countless times; words so powerful and honest they tear at the hubris of every jackass who participates in the debasing of the grieving:</p><p>Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried."</p><p>-- Everything Doesn’t Happen For A Reason - Tim Lawrence</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Can Only Be Carried

_Everything happens for a reason._ They tell him.  _It was his time. He died injuring Loki, gave the Avengers time._ They also tell him.

It's bullshit.

Phil is  _dead_. He wasn't coming back. It cannot be fixed. His husband is fucking dead. There wasn't even a funeral; too busy cleaning up, and then saving Earth all over again.

They don't understand the weight in his chest, squeezing at it every moment of every day. They don't understand the loss of breath when he goes to talk to Phil, go to hug him, to even think about him, only to realise he is no longer there. No longer in Clint's ear. No longer in Clint's life. Phil's clothes don't even smell like him anymore, they only smell like Clint now - even the bed no longer smelled like the man, sooner than the clothes. Sometimes, late at night, he thinks he can hear Phil whispering in the darkness. Other times, thinks he can feel a phantom caress on his arm, on his face - a comfort. Late at night, Clint breaks.

He will carry Phil's death with him for the rest of this life. Phil is dead, that cannot be fixed.

 

 

 


End file.
